Heed not Steve

I’ve Got Me a New Phone and It Can Count My Steps and I’m On My Feet All Day at Work But I Still Walked Less Than the 10,000 Steps Everyone Says You Should Walk Each Day and, Anyhow, the Phone Doesn’t Measure Total Time Standing and My Feet Sure Are Tired – It’s a Nice Phone, Though

Siri, how many steps have I taken today?

Okay.  Here’s what I found on the web for ‘How many steps have I taken today.’

Right.  Okay, thanks.  I’ll look it up myself.

steps

 

Eloquence

So, I’m all, like, “Whoa whoa Whoa WHOA!”

And he’s all, “HEY … HEY!!”

Then she’s all, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

And he gets all, “What the who huh what?”

And I’m all, *gulp*

Then she’s all, like, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?’

And he’s all, “Bahh!!”

And the wildflower is all, like …

The wildflower is all …

The wildflower is.

 

bluegold—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

 

I Hear It

neighbor cat

in the street

black and white

scooting fast on straight legs

with cartoon tippy-toe

—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

Freeway Dark

outrun the rain -
red motorcycle red
mosquito whine

—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

Autumn

sphere

 

autumn
outside somewhere
the moon

—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

As Evening Shadows Climb

I don’t take naps
no, not here on this sofa -
the naps take me

—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

Hey, Wait a Minute …

So, I’ve been thinking about Halloween and candy.

And, the thing is, I realize I’ve only gone trick-or-treating, what, maybe six or seven times in my life?  Maybe eight.  I don’t recall, exactly.

Sure, I’ve been to a number of parties, and I’ve dressed in many costumes.  I’ve carved many pumpkins.  I do have fun.

Yes.

And I’ve walked my kids around various neighborhoods and stood back in the shadows while they begged for candy.

But I’ve only gone out and knocked on doors and rang doorbells and trick-or-treated for some seven Halloween bags worth of candy (and apples and pennies and popcorn.)  That’s it, just seven bags worth of Halloween candy goodness.

Meanwhile.

With the exception of a few years here and there, I’ve handed out candy most every year since I was thirteen.  I’ve handed out bags and bags and bags of candy since I was thirteen.

I’m now 46.

bags and bags and bags

What the heck?

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not complaining, but …

I believe I am due several bags of candy.

Thank you.

And There He Keeps Himself

pumpkineat

 

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater

ate a pumpkin . . .

once

just once

just one damn pumpkin

that’s all

it wasn’t even good

but

that’s all it takes

evidently

and now everyone is all

Hey!  Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater!

Hey!  Hey!

How you doing, PUMPKIN EATER?

like it’s all he does

like he never eats anything else

ever

and it’s not fair

life is not fair

and anyhow

how come no one

talks anymore

about

Joey Joey Nose Picker

—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

 

 

Edgy

toes too close
a cliff maybe an

d


t


h


e




w




o






r






d






s








j








u








s








t








d








r










o










p


—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

Off the Wall

Two flies sat on a garbage can.  A third fly joined them.

“Hello, Fellows,” said the third fly. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Hello to you, Sir,” said the first fly.

“Hello and Greetings,” said the second.

“Say,” said the third fly, “Where’s WilliamFly and GeraldFly?”

“Oh,” said the first, “they’re yonder, on the other side of the room.”

“You can just see them on the wall, up near the ceiling.” added the second.  “It looks to be a very serious conversation.”

The third fly threw a multi-faceted gaze across the room.  He rubbed his front legs together.  “I’d say they’re arguing.”

The second fly nodded.

“What do you suppose it’s about?”

“I surely don’t know,” said the second fly.

The first fly shrugged several skinny shoulders.

“What must they be saying? I can’t take this.  The mystery will kill me!”  He turned to his fellow flies.  “Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be . . . there.”

—-

© Steve Mitchell 2014

 

onthewall

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,232 other followers