Heed not Steve

Me With My Mortgage

Oh, well,

I know a guy

who knows a guy

The Death Trap

is THE hippest hottest


amusement park

house hookah

retro club

dive bar





and oh

well, you know,

I tried to get in


all that

cheap beer


glow drinks


karaoke dance

dizzy thrill rides

see and be seen



it’s cool

it’s stupid


stuck at the rope

the signs all say:

to ride this ride
you must be THIS tall
….and cool


© Steve Mitchell 2015


As I Stroll Down the Path Alongside a Block Wall

birdlooka bird


© Steve Mitchell 2015

Oh, You, Evaporation!

Okay, so, it seems today is National Scotch Day.


Sure, it’s another under-the-radar celebration created solely for selling the booze, but, I’m okay with that.  After red wine, whisky is my favorite booze.  Oh yes.

You might remember Friday was National Tequila Day.  I enjoyed a small libation, in celebration, and one was enough.

Also, on Friday, I skipped my workout because my knee was all aggravated.

Well, today, my knee is still not 100 percent.  But, it’s much better, so I went ahead and exercised.  We’ll see if I pay for it tomorrow.  It should be fine.

Regardless, today I can celebrate guilt free.



It’s too early to start in on the Scotch.  And, it seems all of my single malts have … evaporated.

But, no fear!

For later this evening, I still have a very nice Japanese Suntory blended whisky. While it’s not technically Scotch, it’ll do.


Hey, Good Looking, I'll be back to drink you later!

Hey, Good Looking, I’ll be back to drink you later!

With Eyes and Thumbs

the kids
inside –


© Steve Mitchell 2015


It’s the Humidity what Gets Ya

a poem
of stuffy heat because –
there it is


© Steve Mitchell 2015

Pretending to Decide

Normally, on Fridays, I exercise.  I do some sort of workout.

But, today …

See, here’s the thing.

My left knee has bothered me all day.  I don’t know what it is.  It’s not quite an ache.  It’s not quite a sharp pain.  It feels aggravated.

Also, I’ve got a weird, twinge in my back, down low and to the right.  I felt it last week, too, and it made doing sit-ups and crunches unpleasant, well, more unpleasant.  It had gone away for a few days.  But now it’s back …. heh heh…back.

Get it?  Back?  Get it?


Also, I’m tired, but that’s not unusual.  I get up so early with my new hours.

And also, Lucie and I have a social obligation this evening and I could do with a nap beforehand.


I suppose I should probably skip the workout and let my knee rest, and my back as well.

Oh, and did I mention it’s National Tequila Day, here in the U.S.?


I didn’t find out about it until nearly quitting time at work.

I happen to have some tequila, and there’s some delicious leftover, turkey chili in the fridge.


I should definitely let the knee rest.

It’s for my health.

Yes, so …


Another Installment of WHAT IF (?)

That’s right.  It’s time for What if?  Let’s play a round, just one round; shall we?

I’ll go.

I’ll keep it classy.

What If …

let’s see

What If

Oh!  I know!

What if you were to simultaneously sniff and fart?


At the same time!

What would happen?  A vortex?  What would happen if you did that?

Can It even be done?  Is it even medically possible?

I think not.

No, surely it’s too dangerous.


And that’s all the time we have!

Thank you for playing What If!



Ahead, in the center lane, there’s a slow moving truck.  Traffic flows around it.

I think of a boulder, at rest, in a fast stream.

It’s nice to think of nature.

But, wait.  The truck and the traffic are made of the same stuff.

It’d make more sense to imagine a boulder, at rest, in a fast stream of boulders, a stream of lethal, hard-charging boulders flowing down a hill and bunching up behind a slow moving boulder before rolling around it, no, not a stream at all, maybe, but an avalanche of boulders.  Yeah, an avalanche of boulders, and the boulders are piloted by impatient primates, by monkeys, by crazy, little monkeys, by self-absorbed, aggressive, careless monkeys hell-bent on escaping the boulder avalanche while cursing the lone, hapless, slow-rolling monkey, on the slow moving boulder, in the middle of the boulder avalanche, for keeping them from their appointed, monkey duties.


It’s nice to think of nature.

he drops a pebble
into a hole
filled with pond


© Steve Mitchell 2015

It Was a Gift

“Have you seen my cup?”  Batman growls.   He always growls.

“No, I don’t think so.”  I answer.

“I had it three minutes ago.  I put it down…there,” he points a gauntleted finger at a patch of countertop near my elbow.

“Huh.”  I shrug.

Batman scowls.  “I’ve had a long night.  I want my coffee.”

“I hear ya, Man.”  I nod then look at the wall.  I study the wall clock.

Batman stares at the mug in my hands.  “Is that my cup?”


“Because it looks like my cup.”  Batman sniffs the air near the cup.  “Hazelnut.  That’s my coffee.”

“What? Nooo.  Hazelnut?  I don’t, I don’t smell it, I don’t even- This is my cup, Batman!  It was a gift. Jeez. There’s lots of cups; you know?  Have a little trust. Those guys, those bad guys are getting to you, Man.”  I shrug again.

Batman narrows his eyes.  He clenches his jaw and sighs in a way which sounds like a growl.  “Let me know if you see it.”

“You got it.  Will do, Batman!”  But I’m talking to the air.  He’s gone.

I sniff the coffee.   I don’t really like  hazelnut.

It’ll be okay.  I mean, he’s suspicious, sure, but, how’s he gonna know?  There’s lots of mugs in the world.  This could be anyone’s mug.  He probably believes me.


There’s no way for him to know.


American Summer


I stay inside
and wear wet pants –
shrink to fit


© Steve Mitchell 2015


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