I’ll Meet You There
by Steve Mitchell
My boot heels beat a steady clip-clop on the walk. I stride past houses, one after another, past humming heat pumps and gurgling pool pumps.
Window blinds, lit from inside, hover above dark, yellow lawns. Blue shadows drape the mailboxes and driveways. Trees stand black against the stars and sky.
It’s warm. My pace makes a false breeze and my heart beats fast. I relive harsh words, out of sequence, running a loop. I snarl whispered protests.
whimpering beagle
in the road, injured,
it snaps at us
I sit on the couch with the lights off and my eyes closed. I hear my wife approach. I open my eyes but say nothing. She says nothing, but connects with a kiss. And so we sit together, in the dark. One dog snores. One dog watches.
My wife leans into me and we share soft, honest words and assurances and tears. The minutes tock by. Gradually, we find smiles. Gradually, we find laughter.
It’s late and we’re tired but we’re hungry now, too. We pick up the wine we’d left and, with two forks, we eat a cold burrito. The hot sauce burns my mouth. We touch knees. We laugh and talk. We finish the bottle. It’s so late. It’s so early. We need to go to sleep. And, eventually, we do, our sheets thrown aside.
sleepy sun
awakes to soggy earth –
crisp air
—-
© Steve Mitchell 2010
This is some fantastic writing.
i like the way it was accompanied by haiku’s
Great job
Thanks, very much!
This was my first go at writing haibun, a mixed prose/poetry form which originated in Japan.
I don’t really have a grasp of the conventions and subtleties of the form, so I’m sure I made all manner of grievous, haibun errors.
But, the vinegar is sweet.
I think we’re starting to get somewhere. 🙂 I LOVE your first haiku especially. And this: “My pace makes a false breeze.” And: “It’s so late. It’s so early.”
So are we gonna try to have another one done by the equinox, or just make our first ones better? 🙂
Thanks Melissa!
I’m putting a fork in this one, good, bad or otherwise, I’m finished with it. I actually trimmed and pruned a good 200 words or more to get it where it is.
But, whew! Now the pressure is off!
The next one, whatever it may be, it will likely be lighter and, well, quite possibly goofy.
Maybe I’ll explore non-terse prose. Maybe boring prose will be the subject of my prose!
[…] haibun that we didn’t hate by the fall equinox. He went and jumped the gun on me though and posted his today (you should check it out, it’s pretty good). So I said, “Fine, be that way,” and […]
Hi Steve,
I found you through Melissa’s blog. I like your haibun – well, I’m just beginning to explore the stuff myself. I really enjoyed the way the haiku combines with the prose.The prose could have been even more terse for my taste, especially the beginning. And I don’t find it “heavy”!
Kerstin
Hi Kerstin,
Thank you! And thanks for stopping by and commenting.
I’m glad you didn’t find it heavy. I fought with that. I was afraid of making the thing too overwrought or sentimental or hand-wringy. After some time away from it, I’ll be better able to judge for myself how close I came to my goals in that regard.
More terse? Oh my! I can do it! (maybe) (probably not)
😛