To My Sister Who I Am Older Than and Taller Than but Not Nicer Than or Smarter Than
by Steve Mitchell
Today my sister, Shannon, turns one year older. It’s her birthday!
Today she’s mumblyyears old.
I got her a little something to mark the occasion:
Hey! Hey, Shannon!
Remember how yesterday I was totally three years older than you? I thought I was all cool and I lorded it over you.
And then, remember, how today, somehow, I don’t understand the math, I’m only two years older? And what’s up with that? I can’t hardly boss you around at all. Only two years older? In a hundred years we’ll be practically the same age!
Remember that? Huh? Remember?
Do you know why you don’t remember?
Because you’re old.
And, umm, I guess that makes me two years older than old.
So. Heh. Joke’s on you?
Anyhow, I love you, Shannon, and here’s wishing you a very, very, happy and merry,