To My Sister Who I Am Older Than and Taller Than but Not Nicer Than or Smarter Than

by Steve Mitchell

Today my sister, Shannon, turns one year older.  It’s her birthday!

Today she’s mumblyyears old.

I got her a little something to mark the occasion:


don’t worry, Shannon, Lucie got you a real gift…

Hey!  Hey, Shannon!

Remember how yesterday I was totally three years older than you?  I thought I was all cool and I lorded it over you.

And then, remember, how today, somehow, I don’t understand the math, I’m only two years older?  And what’s up with that?  I can’t hardly boss you around at all.  Only two years older?  In a hundred years we’ll be practically the same age!

Remember that?  Huh?  Remember?


Do you know why you don’t remember?

Because you’re old.

And, umm, I guess that makes me two years older than old.

So.  Heh.  Joke’s on you?

Anyhow, I love you, Shannon, and here’s wishing you a very, very, happy and merry,