You Won’t Hear It From Me
by Steve Mitchell
Can I keep a secret?
Oh, sure, I can keep a secret.
I keep them in a book, on my coffee table.
It’s called Steve’s Big NOT A Book of Secrets.
The book is called that. The coffe table is called Really a Coffee Table.
The book is full of my best kept secrets.
One time, a coworker startled me and I farted out loud.
Another time, I got a golf cart stuck on a shrub.
I once framed a state trooper in Missoula for arson.
I murdered every coworker who’d heard me fart out loud.
And I don’t like beets.
I can keep a secret.