Oh, and Sunglasses Too

by Steve Mitchell

I need a hat.

I’ve been shopping online for a hat.

Specifically, I need a hat to keep those pesky, harmful, UV rays off my head and face and ears and neck.

Honestly, I guess I don’t need one.  I want one.

Yeah, I want a hat.

Why do I want one, you ask?

Well, it’s for my vacation.  I’m on vacation, officially, as of…. today!


We’re going to Universal Studios in California after a brief stop in San Diego, but I won’t tell you exactly when.  I don’t want all the internet robbers coming around while we’re gone.  Or worse, I don’t want roving bands of Pokemon Go players in our backyard.

Do they rove?

I think they rove.


A couple of years ago, at Disneyland, I got a nasty sunburn on my scalp, in my part.  So, I bought a nice, gambler-style, straw hat.  I like it, but it has Micky Mouse on it.  That’s fine for Disneyland; it made me look like I worked there.  But…

I want a different hat.

And I’m going a little crazy.  Being an introvert, being lazy, I’ve crawled the inter webs, but I can’t decide what I want.

Do I want a cheap, throw away hat?  Do I want an expensive keeper?

Do I want outback or a Panama or safari?  Do I wan’t crushable or packable or rigid?  Do I want stylish or beat up or outdoorsy?

And the reviews don’t help. For each hat I’ve considered, at least one reviewer says Fit was too large, while another says, hat was smaller than expected!  One says Brim is too floppy while another says brim holds up fine in all weather.

So, that’s where I am.

Everyday this week I’ve settled for a different hat.  Every day I’ve changed my mind.

Maybe I don’t want a hat at all.

Instead, maybe what I really want is…the perfect hat.


That’s a tall order.

The Perfect Hat

Wish me luck.